Solemn friends and family find seats as their eyes are drawn to the flowers and large photograph of the deceased — carefully retouched. Thoughts such as, “She was too young to die,” or “If she’d taken better care of herself,” or “Wonder if she had her finances in order?” or “Who gets her antique apple butter copper pot?” flit through the minds of many waiting for the memorial service to start.
Mourners must be given a chance to mourn. Family should have an opportunity to grieve, but enough’s enough. Children and grandchildren are meant to take part in the celebration of life – my life.
It’s an order, carefully scripted by me. Celebrate by recalling the goofy times, the ridiculous adventures and the Dee-isms that dotted my speech, especially in the last few years. Remember my love of sports, especially watching my kids and grandkids play anything with a ball, plus the Lakers, the Dodgers and the Cardinals. Recall my bad memory – the one that couldn’t remember words to any song except “Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” which became my standard nighttime lullaby. Eulogize a life filled with many more ups than downs and rejoice in the subsequent generations bearing a smattering of my DNA — people who are making a difference in the world.
I want inspiring uplifting music and a pastor extolling how generous and loving my God is – how much He wants all of us in Heaven with Him. Hopefully my family – especially the children – will each have a small part.
And, at the end – no tears, no pallbearers, no silent exiting of the aisles. Life shouldn’t always be serious and full of too much reflection, so file out of the sanctuary singing a rousing chorus or two of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.” And enjoy the Cracker Jacks memorial party favors.
By Dee Litten Reed
writeright4women 
Even though this event is DECADES away, I love the idea that you have planned this, and those who will have the privilege of being there will do EXACTLY as you say (we will be scared not to!). It inspires me to pre-plan a service for myself, something on the order of making everyone go to Build-a-Bear and make a furry friend, then give them to the Levine Children’s Hospital along with a good book. Everyone ends up at the Cactus Rose for food – Ellyn pays!
Love, Julie